Lactation at the Prado!
I... am not even joking.TW: This post contains a lot of BOOBS. If you are offended by BOOBS, I suggest you read no further. Because BOOBS.
Also, this post is almost entirely religious art of Mary and the baby Jesus, and gets slightly irreverent at times (though all in good fun!), so be warned.
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| Obligatory milk picture for comedic effect |
There are a LOT of pictures of breastfeeding and lactation at the Prado. So much so that I am not the only one to have noticed. Because the focus of this blog is the medieval period, those are the ones I am sharing below. They mostly fall into three 'No Fear' categories. Bad female anatomy, ugly renaissance babies, and just utter weirdness.
Once again, the Museo del Prado has a great website with high-res and zoomable images of most of their collection. I've made a point of linking each image in the captions, so if you'd like to look at any of these pieces more closely click through.
Let's get started, shall we?
Once again, the Museo del Prado has a great website with high-res and zoomable images of most of their collection. I've made a point of linking each image in the captions, so if you'd like to look at any of these pieces more closely click through.
Let's get started, shall we?
Nursing
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| Detail of "The Virgin of Tobed," Jaume Serra, 1359 |
Behold the detachable boob! I mean really, it definitely doesn't look like it's attached to Mary's chest at all. It's more like Jesus is holding a tiny breast shaped bottle. And if it is attached, then it's just one very tiny breast stuck to the center of her chest. And then the dress must have a perfect tiny hole in the center of it to fit around the breast that perfectly.
But maybe it's a feature? As we will see later, Mary's boobs are magic and having a detachable breast could be handy. There were certainly times where I wouldn't have minded popping one off and letting my son use it as a bottle.
But maybe it's a feature? As we will see later, Mary's boobs are magic and having a detachable breast could be handy. There were certainly times where I wouldn't have minded popping one off and letting my son use it as a bottle.
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| Detail of "Rest on the Flight into Egypt," Joachim Patinir, 1518 - 1520 |
This painting is at the other end of the spectrum. The anatomy is mostly good, and even baby Jesus is very natural. The breast is maybe a little over-round and placed a bit oddly on the chest, but not so much that you'd notice without squinting hard. Mostly I just included this one because it fits the theme and I find their expressions hilarious. Jesus is totally uninterested in the breast and distracted by something over there, Mary is just tired and wants him to take the stupid nipple already.
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| Detail of "Rest on the Flight into Egypt," Gerard David, Ca. 1515 |
This is where we start getting into 'ugly renaissance baby' territory. Not because baby Jesus is particularly badly drawn, it's actually a good illustration of a toddler. But his expression is...creepily self aware. It's bad enough online but it's even more uncanny in person. Especially with the way he's looking directly at the viewer. It's like he wants you to know that is his boob.
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| Detail of “La virgen de la leche," Pedro Berruguete, 1500 |
It's sort of a shame that Jesus is a true 'ugly renaissance baby' here, because this is probably the most realistic depiction of a breast in the bunch. Of course that's counterbalanced by Mary's gigantic spindly hands. Unfortunately, this is also one of the few pieces the Prado doesn't have on it's website.
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| Detail of "La Virgen de la Leche," Maestro Bartolomé, Ca. 1490 |
I commend the attempt at realism that led to painting the veins under the skin of the breast. I'm pale myself and this is totally a thing. But what's up with the nipple, or lack of one? I guess there's kinda a bit of shadow that implies a nipple, but it looks more like he's just pinching the skin of the breast. Not to mention that the planes of Jesus's face are all over the place, like a Picasso.
Also, this isn't a depiction of nursing. Take my word for it, that is a baby that is about to bite his mom.
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| Detail of "The Virgin nursing the Child," Maestro de don Alvaro de Luna, Ca. 1490 |
This baby's feet are hard to look at, but the real offender here is female anatomy. Too small a head and too big hands, sure, but what is going on with her breast? It seriously looks like it's hanging off of her neck. I know there is probably a pair of shoulders hiding in all of that cloth back there, but without being able to see the shoulders everything just looks off. And if you click through to the Prado's website and get a really up-close look at that nipple, it is just...wrong.
Magical Milk
Did you know that Mary's milk is special? It can succor the souls of purgatory and convey blessings! |
| "Saint Bernard and the Virgin," Alonso Cano, 1645 - 1652 |
First, this painting is a good 6 or 7 feet tall, so imagine it proudly taking up the entire wall in front of you. Second, lets just cruise right on by the fact that a grown man is receiving holy blessing in the form of breast-milk.
What I do want to talk about is the distance and accuracy of that stream of milk. The distance is possible in real life, but getting it to land exactly where you want at that distance is a miracle in and of itself. Also, that's an incredibly even stream. How much psi of pressure do you think the milk has to be under to shoot that forcibly and consistently over that distance? Inquiring minds want to know.
What I do want to talk about is the distance and accuracy of that stream of milk. The distance is possible in real life, but getting it to land exactly where you want at that distance is a miracle in and of itself. Also, that's an incredibly even stream. How much psi of pressure do you think the milk has to be under to shoot that forcibly and consistently over that distance? Inquiring minds want to know.
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| "The Virgin and the Souls of Purgatory," Pedro Machuca, 1517 |
I wasn't quite sure which of these two to put last, as they are both amazing, but this one won out because it is just slightly more ridiculous for a couple of reasons. Before I get into that though, I wanted to show you the entire painting. Mary is... succoring? feeding? helping? the souls of purgatory there at the bottom of the painting. With her breast-milk:
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| More Detail |
Let me first acknowledge that those are some very nice breasts, and Mary has every right to be proud of them. But in person it is hard to even look at them because the milk itself is so distracting. It is ever so slightly raised from the surface of the painting, and the droplets are shiny which makes them look wet. And then there's baby Jesus... very helpfully milking his mother.
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